A lesson in IRONY

This would be ironic or simply 'what do you expect' continuing with my open mouthed obsession with mediocrity I present the beast that is Corey worship.
10 points if you can pick all the mistakes.

God's Own Country

So I really enjoyed getting down to supposedly "God's Own Country" AKA Cronulla the other night for a party (Foreign Friends, Cronulla is a beach side suburb of Sydney, while, although near the city of Sydney also through accidents of geography finds itself a fairly insular area where the locals NEVER leave and also NEVER stop gabbing bout how wonderful the place is to live. But a warning, if you google the place you will also find some rather disturbing facts about the place that made news a while back)
A little off topic there...anyways, as I was saying, it was nice to get the opportunity to socialise with some old mates and have a proper party, the rain meant we were all inside, being close quarters meant that I had to socialise and well...um...admit to a great social death for the Sutherland Shire and reveal that I indeed had driven in from out of town!
Little did I know how much a conversation starter THAT would be. Energetic, wide eyed queries ensued; "What's it like taking a real motorway?" "What are the other Westfield mall's like?" "Does Sydney have other beaches...with waves?" etc etc

After three light beers I did have to break the seal, and truth is, I needed a breather from all the attention and soft whispering about the 'foreigner' and 'new blood' around the room.

Back to it, the natural teacher in me worked the room, revealing all types of interesting facts about the wide world, yes, people do marry into different suburbs, even have interests non relatable to a surfboard, wax and blonding hair products. we have shoes, long pants and I even had to admit I'd seen people without their postcode tattooed on their inner arm...in the midst of all this hubris I gazed down to my chest to identify a large, fat PUBE on my Tshirt!
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LEARING out at the circle of people around me, positively waving as if to say "Hey, I've just been to the loo and got caught on my owners hands as he did the zip up on the fly"

Oh my GOD, how long had that been there? Had anyone seen it?
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Then again, If I was chatting to a total stranger at a party, would I be POLITE
enough to ignore the 'sexual hair' on his shirt OR would I be POLITE enough to point it out in a non confronting manner as to save the poor foreigner from further embarrasment?

A friggin pubic hair!
Now that hasn't happened to me before...
I still shudder to think about it

Why Don't You Take off Those Glasses

I probably dont really deserve to increase traffic around here but I wonder what the term 'Corey Worthington' will do if I mention it here?

When you hothouse and incubate a generation of children through a diet of 5 second soundbites "Do you look hot" stylised images, lowest common denominator foreign reality TV, cheap instant 'dont have to wait' instant satisfaction, free and shallow gratification and the cult of fame I guess you are going to get a race of mindless clones.
More worryingly you are also going to get the host of peers who possess absolutely no ability to think critically and thus will worship at the alter of such a silly kid. Children like Corey have no ability to be exceptional, they have not been forwarded those skills, told they need to work longer than half an hour on one activity to develop difference- thus the driving need to find a mindless fame that, at the very least, gives a senblance of that they are special- its the only kind of 'exceptional model' they have been exposed to- the TV Star, the model. This child's biggest problem was his inability to look into the future, see the consequences of his lack of contrition, I found it an interesting study. I can't blame him, when had he needed to develop that skill- if his mobile needed updating, it was propably the new model wrapped and ready as a present, broadband upgraded, clothes bought. No one actually fails in school, they are "progressing!" No one is held back a year, that might "inhibit their self esteem!"We live in that world- why the horror over this blokes actions? It's been staring us in the face for at least the last 5 years!
I Apologise on two issues; One, That you are reading from across the shores and have no idea what I'm talking about (I'll try to embed the vid) and, Two, that I have not been around, you see...I've been organising a sick party that me parents don't know about!!!!

Splutter

You know that type of automobile? The second hand one that you bought for a scream at the time, assured that it was running well, previous owner a nun who only used it to deliver meals on wheels. It does indeed run well.

But as always about two years in you hop in one cold morning and the engine kicks but just doesnt quite kick over. "Must be a bit cold", you say and try again. Still turning , yearning a bit, nearly there, you can feel the engine waking up....then...nothing.
You dont want to flood the little tacker, so you wait 5 minutes. On your next attempt the thing responds in much the same way as previously, you lose your temper, "Stupid friggin hunk of junk!" as you get out of the car, resigned to the fact you wont be getting where you want to go today

To this end, I think this blog feels, or has felt a little like that. Its the best way I can explain it. One day i woke up and had nothing to say. There were a few times I remembered I had one original thought, even had something to say, but to get home, find a spare minute to construct words has simply been to much...too many false starts, almost back to normal but not quite. It was just easier to shut that routine out for a while. Get sane

So thats me prostrated...or is that prostated!! ;)

Vroooooooooooooooom

Evan is slapped across the face,
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where am I
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What year is it?
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Whats my name??

Hello cheeky Monkeys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!