You'd have to be a Luddite, or blind not to have been subjected to the dirge that passes for chain emails these days. At first I thought the sentiment was OK. No harm in a poem about friendships, love and lifting spirits. i received one a little like that last night. It was pretty sweet and thought provoking.


But naturally you get the 'pass this on for good luck to 5 people' sort of deal. that's OK, I may forward it to a few people. But when did they become so bloody negative. Now the thing last night focused squarely on the horrible, gory death I'd be subjected to if I didn't. What took the cake was the fact that in the short history of this letter people had even died not because they didn't pass it on, but because they didn't have enough friends to pass it on the required amount! look at this:

Take Katie Robinson She received this poem and being the believer that she
was she sent it to a few of her friends but didn't have enough e-mail addresses
to send out the full 5 that you must. Three days later, Katie went
to a masquerade ball. Later that night when she left to get to her car, she was
killed in that spot by a hit-and-run drunk driver.

Yeah, see poor squashed Katie presumably sat at a computer alone, dutifully did her chain email duty, got her self run over, policeman investigated her home computer (the first port of call for hit and run drunk driver incidences for investigative officers naturally) and the coroner closes the case as death by lack of email correspondence. I suppose the drunk driver was innocently a pawn in the whole mystical cursed email affair and was let off Scott free.




To the bloke that was run over by an 18 wheeler because his friend failed to pass it on. Oh I seeeee, so if something happens to you that could be classed as a misfortune, chances are one of your friends probably got a chain letter at some point in their lives and failed to pass it on. There is no hope for mankind as we clearly have no control over our destiny.



How do these pixels that masquerade as chain emails get their mystical power anyway? is there some witch doctor available to sprinkle pigs blood and spices over the original mail before the evil sender clicks send? I looked in the yellow pages but couldn't find 'Discount chain email curse services' anywhere. I'm seriously thinking that, in my down time, I might construct one myself with the most gory, horrific death or misfortune I can possibly whip up.